


loverboy

by bluemoonrabbit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Showki if you squint, Slow Dancing, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 10:32:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18119039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonrabbit/pseuds/bluemoonrabbit
Summary: Hoseok swallowed. “Thank you, Eomma. It’s quite new… the others don’t know yet and we don’t know where it’s headed, but… I treasure him a lot.”The most believable lies were the ones that contained small truths. In his case, that small truth was one of the greatest truths of his life.A misunderstanding by Hoseok’s mother traps him and Changkyun in the biggest lie he’s ever told.





	loverboy

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I’ve thought long and hard about how to address Hoseok’s mother in this fic, and decided to go with Mama Shin (+ see ending notes).

As soon as the doors slid open, Hoseok made a beeline straight for apartment number 2301. He anxiously rang the doorbell as the others were still filtering out of the elevator.

Beside him, Changkyun patted his arm gently. On any other day, the touch would send ripples through him, but his mind was wholly occupied with what was on the other side of the door.

“Breathe, hyung,” said Changkyun, looking up at Hoseok. His deep voice was hushed, just loud enough for Hoseok to hear him through the chatter of the other members.

Hoseok exhaled. He hadn’t even noticed that he was holding his breath.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” he whispered back. He bounced on the balls of his feet. “I just really need it to be perfect, you know?”

Changkyun nodded. “It will be perfect,” he said solemnly. Despite his nerves, Hoseok felt touched by his confidence in him.

From within the apartment, a voice rang out. “I’m coming! Just give me one second!”

As the sound of house slippers slapping across wooden floors grew louder, his heart beat faster, like it was a millisecond from bursting. Finally, the door opened.

“Hoseok!” his mother cried joyfully, opening her arms wide.

At the sight of her smiling face, the filter he’d kept so carefully in place for the past few months crumbled, and his emotions flooded out like water over a dam. Tears sprang into his eyes and he rushed into her arms.

“E-eomma,” he sobbed. “D-do you like it? If you d-don’t like it, I’ll work harder and get you a b-better place—”

“Silly child, why are you crying?” she murmured. Her voice was choked. “I love it. I wake up every day thinking how lucky I am to have a son like you.”

How could it be that her words of reassurance only made him cry more? Memories of all the years his mother had sacrificed her own comforts for him rushed to the surface. It was such an indescribable, overwhelming relief to know that he could finally be her protector.  

Mama Shin patted his back, just like she used to when he was a child, except now she was tiny in his arms. The thought of that made him cry even harder. As she quietly hushed him, he could feel the other members retreating politely to give them space.  

Eventually, his tears stopped flowing. He hiccupped and let go of his mom, who smiled brightly at him and cupped his cheeks one last time.

Hoseok sniffed and looked back down at her. Her eyes glistened, but she looked so happy. Her cheeks were plump and rosy, and the hollow shadows under her eyes were gone. She looked healthy and well-rested. This was what he’d worked hard for.

“No more tears, okay?” she whispered. Hoseok nodded vigorously, swiping at the wet tracks on his face.

Mama Shin turned to the other members and beamed. “My boys!”

“Hi Mama Shin!”

“Ayo, Mama Shin!”

“Hi Auntie!”

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said, dabbing at her eyes. She moved aside from the doorway to make way. “Come in, come in!”

“Sorry, guys,” Hoseok mumbled. Even though the others were no strangers to his tears, he felt especially vulnerable when it came to his aspirations for his mother’s future.

The members patted him on the back as they stepped into Mama Shin’s apartment. Changkyun gifted him with a proud, dimpled smile. Hoseok felt a wave of gratitude for their understanding.

He followed his mother and his groupmates in through the door. As the little apartment filled with the others’ cheerful chatter, he looked all around him. He’d briefly seen the interior before, twice in person to evaluate it, talk to the landlord, and to pay for the lease, and once when his mom had video-called him to show him how she’d furnished it. However, being here in person now that his mother was living here…

A small part of him had feared that his mother’s new home would look wholly unrecognizable to him — that it would no longer feel like home to him — but being here in person laid those fears to rest. Everywhere he looked, he saw traces of the house they’d once lived in: the clay flower pot he’d made for her in elementary school, now home to a robust succulent; the beautiful, sprawling watercolour painting his grandfather had painted of a forgotten countryside…

There were new additions too. Hoseok had insisted on a new sofa, as the cushions on his mom’s old one were so worn that she had a hard time getting up from it. The coffee table was new too; he’d hoped that she would enjoy inviting people over to have tea there. An addition he hadn’t expected was a framed print of a group selfie he’d sent her from the set of the _We Are Here_ jacket shoot. It hung above the side table, nestled among other pictures she’d artfully arranged into a sort of mini gallery. Luckily that day they’d been shooting a soft concept, but Hoseok’s cheeks still burned at the sight of Changkyun’s bare shoulder peeking prettily out of his cream-coloured sweater.

He looked away from the picture and towards his mother. He’d worried that she wouldn’t like the new appliances the apartment had come with, but she seemed to take to them like a fish to water. Seeing her happily bustling about in the kitchen was worth the entire year he’d scrimped and saved.

“Hoseok-ah!” Mama Shin called, setting down the last dish.

“Hoseok!” the others chorused.  

“Come sit down for dinner!”

There was certainly not enough room to seat eight people, so they were crammed shoulder-to-shoulder at the dinner table. Hoseok noted with a rush of affection that his mom had made all his favourites. Carefully, he squeezed into the space left for him, with Mama Shin at the head of the table on his right and Changkyun on his left.

“A toast!” Mama Shin announced proudly, raising her cup of tea.

“To Eomma!” Hoseok interjected cheerfully.

“To Monsta X!” Mama Shin added with a laugh. “And to good health!”

They all clinked their glasses together and shouted, “Geonbae!”  

“I have to say, boys,” said Mama Shin as everyone eagerly dug in, “I’m so thankful that you’re spending your free evening with me. And thank you for bringing this lovely stew, Hyunwoo-ya, it’s delicious.”

Across from Hoseok, Hyunwoo smiled sheepishly.

“Ah, you’re welcome!” he said. “Kihyunnie made it with me, actually.”

“No no no,” Kihyun protested with pink cheeks. “All I did was help with the prep. Hyunwoo did all the cooking; it’s his recipe.”

“Hyunwoo-hyung and Kihyun-hyung cook together all the time now,” said Jooheon. Hyungwon hummed in agreement. “Normally Kihyun-hyung is the only one who cooks.”

“Oh?” Mama Shin’s eyes lit up. In Hoseok’s peripheral vision, Minhyuk subtly perked up too, eager for gossip.

Hoseok shook his head and tuned out of the conversation. His mom’s instincts were terrifyingly sharp, even sharper than Minhyuk’s. Even more terrifying was her uncanny ability to tease information from people without them being any wiser. Whatever invisible guerilla attack Hyunwoo and Kihyun had found themselves trapped in was best left avoided.

Beside him, Changkyun fidgeted in his seat, staring forlornly at a plate of galbi closer to him and Mama Shin, too far to reach for without standing up. He looked like a puppy staring at food it couldn’t have. He turned to Hoseok with beseeching eyes.

Hoseok pointed questioningly at the plate, and Changkyun nodded in confirmation. Huffing an amused breath, Hoseok picked up several pieces of galbi and laid them on Changkyun’s rice, following it with some vegetables.

“Thanks, hyung,” Changkyun said happily.

Hoseok’s heart gave a little squeeze. He knew that he shouldn’t give into his impulses like that, but the consequences seemed far away and unimportant when he got to see Changkyun’s face light up with childish delight.

“You’re welcome, brat,” he replied fondly. “Use your words next time.”

Changkyun neatly wrapped some rice, kimchi, and grilled meat in lettuce and stuffed it into Hoseok’s mouth in retaliation, cackling as Hoseok choked on it. Hoseok blushed and looked away, chewing furiously to calm himself.

Mama Shin caught his eye, looking for all the world like a gleeful child in a candy shop.  

—

“Ahh!” Hoseok sighed contentedly. He stretched his arms upward, careful not to hit his mom or Changkyun. “That was such a great dinner. Thank you, Eomma.

The others chimed their gratitude too. Mama Shin waved their thanks away.

“You’re welcome, my dears,” she said, smiling widely. “You’re always welcome in my home. Do you boys want to play some video games before leaving? I still have Hoseok and Junseok’s old games. We’ve got Mario Kart—”

Minhyuk gasped excitedly.

Hoseok cocked his head to the side in amusement. “Mario Kart Double Dash,” he recalled.

It was bittersweet to think his mother had kept them all these years even though he barely had time to visit.   

“Wow,” Hyunwoo mused, rubbing his chin. “I haven’t played that in over a decade.”

“Looks like a trip down memory lane is in order,” Mama Shin beamed. “I hooked up the console earlier thinking you boys might want to play.”

Hoseok stood up and kissed her on the cheek, then began stacking up the empty plates and bowls to take to the kitchen. Changkyun immediately took the stack from his hands.

“I’ll do it, hyung,” he said quietly under the chatter.

“But you’re a guest,” Hoseok protested.

Changkyun shook his head. “Go spend time with your mom,” he insisted.

Kihyun thumped Hoseok on the back. “We got this, go on.”

“Thank you so much, dears,” said Mama Shin warmly. She passed a stack of plates to him. “If you could leave them in the sink, I’d be ever so grateful.”

Changkyun gave Hoseok an encouraging smile before disappearing into the kitchen with Kihyun. Hoseok turned to his mother, who was watching Changkyun and Kihyun go with a little smile on her face.

“What’s on your mind, Eomma?” Hoseok asked. They sat back down at the table and he poured her more tea from the teapot.

“Kihyun and Changkyun are good boys,” she replied fondly, wrapping her hands around her cup.

“They’re the best,” Hoseok agreed with a rush of affection. “They all are. I couldn’t have dreamed of a better team.”  

“Hyunwoo and Kihyun seem quite close,” said Mama Shin lightly. Hoseok recognized that tone. It was the fishing-for-information tone.

“I suppose they’re close,” he replied carefully, and took a sip of tea. “We all are.”

His mom smiled mischievously at him. “You and Changkyunnie seem close too.”

Hoseok internally winced. He knew the implication in her words. He should have known there would be no hiding how he felt for Changkyun from his mother.

“Like I said, we’re all close,” he said, now wary.

“When were you going to tell me about you two?” asked Mama Shin.

“Us two?” The question caught Hoseok off guard. “Changkyun and I?”

“Yes!”

“What about Changkyun and I?” Hoseok’s heart sped up.

“Oh, don’t be coy!” she admonished teasingly. “That you’re together!”

 _Oh_.

She’d seen right through him, but misinterpreted Changkyun’s playfulness for affection and intimacy.

“We’re not together though,” Hoseok said as casually as he could, trying his best to not betray the turmoil he felt inside. He itched to change the topic, but knew that that would only rouse her curiosity.

“I won’t force you to tell me if you can’t, then,” Mama Shin chuckled, oblivious to Hoseok’s mood. She looked him in the eyes and held his hands in hers. Her hands were weathered from years of hard work, but still held his as gently and warmly as when he was little.

“Hoseok-ah,” she began. Her voice was quiet and serious. “I’m so glad you and Changkyun have each other. Your work has been so hard on you, and I was so worried when you got sick—” Her voice broke, and her grip became shaky. “I-I’m just so r-relieved that you’re not alone and you have him to be there for you.”

Hoseok sucked in a shallow breath.

He could accept that his feelings for the maknae were a road that would lead to nowhere but a dead end. He was okay with that, honestly. It was unimaginable that Changkyun would return his feelings in the first place. And even if he did, Hoseok barely had time to visit his own mother. Where would he find the time to nourish a relationship? The life he’d chosen was so much lonelier than his mother could imagine, and he only wanted to keep her safe from that knowledge.

Hoseok’s mother held his gaze firmly in hers. Her eyes were misty and her smile was wobbly. His heart sank as he realized she really believed they were in a relationship, and that she was sincerely happy for them.

He had worked hard to ensure her wellbeing and peace of mind, but hadn’t realized that his own sacrifice would cause her pain too. If she knew the truth… it would probably break her heart.

Hoseok swallowed. “Thank you, Eomma. It’s quite new… the others don’t know yet and we don’t know where it’s headed, but… I treasure him a lot.”

The most believable lies were the ones that contained small truths. In his case, that small truth was one of the greatest truths of his life.

Mama Shin squeezed his hands. Tears escaped from her eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Hoseok. Ohhh, come here.”

She drew him into her arms. Hoseok slowly hugged her back. While she sniffled with tears of joy, guilt ate at his heart. He’d always had a hard time lying to his mother, and this felt like the worst lie he’d ever told her.

Reluctantly, he let her go.

“I’m gonna go check on Changkyun,” he said, faking an eager grin, “and tell him I told you about us.”

Mama Shin beamed. “Off you go, then!”

Hoseok’s smile slid off as soon as he turned his back. Anxiously he made his way to the kitchen, where Changkyun and Kihyun were chatting happily while loading the dishwasher.

“Hey Kihyun, let me take over,” he said, forcing himself to sound relaxed. “You can go play Mario Kart with the others.”

“Oh, okay!” Kihyun chimed. Luckily he didn’t question Hoseok, and instead dried his hands and joined the others in the living room.

Changkyun looked at Hoseok worriedly. “Hoseokkie-hyung, what’s wrong? You’re pale as a sheet.”

Hoseok took a deep breath. “Changkyunnie.”

“Yeah?” Changkyun’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Please help me pretend that we’re in a relationship,” Hoseok blurted.

Had his mind not been so clouded with anxiety, he might have noticed Changkyun’s expression shattering.

“Wh—”

“My mom thinks we’re together,” Hoseok explained. A small but loud part of his mind laughed deliriously at the irony. A knot formed in his throat. “Changkyunnie, she really believes we’re together. She thinks you’ve been there for me and caring for me when I was sick, which you have been but—”

“Breathe, hyung,” said Changkyun, rubbing his back. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Just breathe.”

Hoseok obeyed and took a deep shuddering breath. What had he gotten them into? Were it his own lie to tell, he’d take it to the grave if it meant his mother wouldn’t worry about him. But now he’d gone and made Changkyun part of his lie too.

Changkyun, whom he adored. Changkyun, who deserved to live freely and honestly.

“Today was supposed to be about making her happy, but instead she was worried that I’m alone with no one to love me. I can’t let her know I’ll never have that,” Hoseok whispered. He would never have that. A tear slid down his cheek, leaving a burning trail. “She can’t know I’ll never find a home in someone. Not in this line of work. It would break her heart. I can’t break her heart like that.”

Changkyun laid a soft palm on his cheek and wiped away his tears, just like he had done the night Hoseok fell in love with him. He enveloped Hoseok in his arms and patted his back.

“I’ll do it, Hoseokkie, so don’t cry,” Changkyun murmured. His voice sounded strange. Hoseok didn’t blame him. It was a strange situation. “I’ll pretend to be — with you. She won’t have to worry about anything.”

“I’m so sorry for making you do this,” Hoseok breathed. “Thank you so much.”

Changkyun didn’t let go, so he stayed still like that, breathing in and out as the other whispered small words of comfort to him.

“I keep crying tonight,” Hoseok mumbled into Changkyun’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

He was the older one. He was supposed to be wiser, more self-assured. Yet here he was, being comforted by Changkyun who was younger but somehow more mature than him.

“Why are you sorry?” Changkyun asked gently. “For feeling? You’re the Hoseok we love because you feel things the way you do.”

 _Ah_.

That was one of the many reasons why Hoseok loved Changkyun. Despite Hoseok’s many insecurities and faults, Changkyun had a way of assuring him that he didn’t have to be perfect to be loved and accepted.

“Thank you Changkyunnie.” Hoseok sniffed and pulled away.

Changkyun quirked a lopsided smile at him. “So what’s our story?”

“Well, I told her it’s new and that the others don’t know yet, so I know she won’t out us to them,” said Hoseok, blinking away some stray tears.

Changkyun nodded contemplatively. “We can say we’ve been spending so much time together at the gym and the studio that we were dating without realizing…”

Those words pressed on Hoseok’s heart like a thumb on a bruise.

“The most believable lies are the ones that are half-true, aren’t they?” he half-joked. If he sounded wounded, Changkyun didn’t seem to notice. Nibbling on his nails, the younger’s gaze was distant, like his mind was worlds away.

Finally, Changkyun’s attention snapped back to Hoseok.

“Yes, they are,” he said. “Let’s run the load in the dishwasher then join the others. We’ve been in here for a while and they might get suspicious.”

Hoseok nodded. Thank goodness Changkyun was so level-headed.

“C’mon, loverboy,” said Changkyun. He smiled that half-smile at Hoseok again. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but—

No, it probably was.

—

When Hoseok and Changkyun rejoined the others in the living room, Mama Shin’s eyes lit up at the sight of them. On the floor in front of the TV, Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Hyungwon were gearing up to start a new match. In the corner of Hoseok’s eye, Changkyun smiled bashfully at his mom and sat beside her on the sofa.

“What did we miss?” asked Hoseok, perching on the sofa’s arm.  

“Minhyukkie-hyung beat me and Hyunwoo-hyung,” Jooheon sulked.

“If you thought I was going to go easy on you just because you chose Yoshi for your cat, you’re a fool,” Minhyuk crowed.

“Now the terror trio are waging bets,” said Hyunwoo with amusement, gesturing a foot at the three sitting on the floor. “This’ll be interesting.”

“If I win, you guys have to dress up like your characters at the next fansign,” Kihyun announced with a look of determination. “Hyungwon would make a great Waluigi.”

“And you chose Baby Mario and Baby Luigi because you think you’re so cute, huh?” Minhyuk taunted Kihyun. Kihyun fumed silently.

“You probably chose the Princesses because you have delusions of grandeur,” Hyungwon retorted.

“Fuck you!” snapped Minhyuk. “I chose them because gender norms are bullshit! Uh, sorry Auntie.”

Mama Shin laughed at Minhyuk’s sheepish expression. “I’m as old as the hills! I’ve heard it all.”

Kihyun’s mouth fell open in surprise. “You’ll have to share your skincare routine! You don’t look a day over thirty!”

The room burst into laughter and groans of disgust.

“You’re so cringey!” Minhyuk complained as Hyungwon grimaced.

“Okay kids, no more fighting,” said Hyunwoo goodnaturedly. “Losers wear their characters’ costumes at the next fansign and that’s final.”

“You’ll have to send me pictures,” Mama Shin giggled.  

“Deal,” said Kihyun with a grin.

For the next four minutes, the room was completely silent, the only sounds being the music and sound effects from the game, and occasional exclamations from the ones playing. Finally, when the celebratory graphic flashed across the screen, Kihyun jumped up with a triumphant smirk on his face.

Minhyuk laid down his controller and massaged his temple. “I swear to God, Yoo Kihyun, if you—”

Hoseok laughed as Kihyun assumed the position and began dancing the choreography to EXO’s Tempo.

“What was that, Princess Peach?” Kihyun taunted.

“You’re so annoying,” Hyungwon grumbled, flicking his hair from his face.

“I can’t hear you over the sound of you dressing as Wa—”

Hyunwoo grabbed Kihyun by the nape and forced him into a slight bow in front of Mama Shin.

“I’m sincerely sorry for this embarrassing display,” he said solemnly and bowed too.

Mama Shin shook with laughter. “It must be really lively in your dorms.”

“It’s a gong show alright,” confirmed Jooheon with a long-suffering sigh.

“Speaking of shows,” said Kihyun, straightening up. “Don’t you need to get going soon?”

Jooheon’s eyes widened comically and he checked his watch.

“I’m really sorry but I have to go,” he said to Mama Shin. “I promised my friend I’d watch his set tonight after dinner.”

“I was wondering why you’re dressed up so handsomely,” she replied, wrapping Jooheon in a hug. “Best not keep your friend waiting. Come visit me again!”

“Thank you, I will!” With a dimpled grin and an enthusiastic promise, Jooheon disappeared into the night.

“Hmm, we should get going too, then,” said Hyunwoo, looking at his watch. “Hoseok-ah, you’re staying here tonight, right?”

“Yup!” chirped Hoseok. The only reason he was able to was because they had a day off tomorrow, and he planned to spend it with his mom. It was regretful that the members couldn’t stay longer and get to know his mom better, but the relief he felt knowing Changkyun wouldn’t be forced to play out his lie far outweighed that.

“What do you boys have planned?” asked Mama Shin as they others gathered their things. Outside, rain began pattering on the windows.

“I’m staying over at my parents’ tonight and spending the day off tomorrow with them,” said Hyunwoo. Looking quizzically at the terror trio, he continued, “I’m not sure I understand what you guys had planned…”

Beside Hoseok, Changkyun stifled a laugh.

“They booked a fancy hotel room,” he giggled. “They’re going to do face masks, drink wine, and talk shit while wearing bathrobes.”

“Don’t laugh at them, Changkyunnie,” Hoseok admonished with a smile.

“That sounds like fun, though!” Mama Shin exclaimed while trading hugs with each of them. “I used to do that with my friends when I was your age.”

Hyungwon slung his arms over Kihyun and Minhyuk’s shoulders on their way out. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled languorously and said, “One day you’ll understand the art of relaxation, maknae. Until then, have fun by yourself at the dorms. Good night, Auntie!”

With a chorus of _thank you_ ’s and _good night_ ’s, Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Hyungwon left.

And then there were three.

Standing before the front door with his tote bag slung over his shoulder, Changkyun turned to Hoseok’s mother.

“Thank you for inviting us over, Auntie,” he said warmly, every inch the kind of boyfriend one took home to meet the parents. “Dinner was really delicious and I had lots of fun.”

Time for Hoseok to play his part. He stepped close to Changkyun and wrapped an arm around his waist. Changkyun leaned back into his touch. It wasn’t anything more than their usual skinship, but it still sent the flock of butterflies in Hoseok’s chest into flight.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” replied Mama Shin. Her brow creased. “But what’s this about staying at the dorms alone tonight?”

“My parents live too far away to visit for one day only,” explained Changkyun. “I was just going to go home and watch Netflix for the evening.”

“That sounds lonely…” said Mama Shin dubiously.

“This kid likes solitude,” explained Hoseok, lightly jostling Changkyun. “He’s like a rare, endangered animal even when everyone else is at home.”

Changkyun playfully swatted at Hoseok for the comparison.

“It’s raining pretty hard out now,” said Mama Shin, frowning at the window. “It feels wrong to send you out in the rain. Why not stay the night here?”

Hoseok’s stomach dropped. In his hold, Changkyun stiffened almost imperceptibly.

“Oh no,” said Changkyun, shaking his head. “This is your time with Hoseokkie-hyung now. I can’t impose!”

“Silly child, you wouldn’t be imposing,” said Mama Shin with a warm smile. She took Changkyun’s hands into her own. “Anyone who makes my baby happy makes me happy too.”

Hoseok sighed internally. His mother had unwittingly forced his hand. He really didn’t want to make Changkyun stay and keep up the charade any longer than necessary, but the sound of rain against the windows was only starting to grow louder. Even if they weren’t pretending to date, Hoseok could not in good conscience let him go out alone in the wet and cold.

“Stay with us tonight,” he said, smiling encouragingly at Changkyun. “Please?” he added at Changkyun’s hesitant expression. “How could I let you go when it’s raining so hard out?”

“Oh,” said Changkyun. The tips of his ears turned pink, and a small, hesitant smile played on his lips. “I’ll stay then. Thank you, Auntie.”

“Good!” said Mama Shin with a wide smile.

“You can take the guest bedroom,” said Hoseok, ruffling Changkyun’s hair. “I’ll take the couch. Eomma, do you have any spare blankets?”

“Oh, I wasn’t born yesterday,” Mama Shin scoffed. “You can share the guest bedroom. The bed’s big enough for the two of you, as big and tall as you both are. I think Hoseok left a set of pajamas with me last time he visited…”

She disappeared into the depths of the apartment, leaving Hoseok and Changkyun alone and stunned in front of the door. A moment later, they turned to each other.

“I’m sorry—”

“—so sorry.”

Changkyun stared at Hoseok, wide-eyed.

“Um,” Hoseok said awkwardly after a beat. “How about you first?”

“I really didn’t mean to intrude on your time with your mom,” Changkyun blurted. “I just didn’t know how to say no without being rude and you were both looking at me like that—”

“No, it’s okay!” Hoseok interrupted. He raked a hand through his hair in frustration. Lowering his voice, he continued, “I won’t blame you if you don’t believe me but I would’ve asked you to stay even if we weren’t pretending to date. God, Changkyunnie, I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.”

Changkyun shook his head.

“I said I’d help you, didn’t I?” he asked, looking at Hoseok with an earnest expression.

“You did.”

“Then you have nothing to be sorry for,” said Changkyun simply. Playfully he added, “Just treat me to dinner after this and I’ll call it even.”

“I’ll treat you to as many dinners as you want,” Hoseok vowed. Where was the lie? He’d treat Changkyun to dinner for a lifetime if he could.

Changkyun’s cheeky grin settled into that half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes again.

“You’re so extra, hyung,” he said softly.

Suddenly, it dawned on Hoseok that he’d never seen Changkyun smile like that. The realization niggled uncomfortably at the back of his mind.

“I found them!” Mama Shin called from her bedroom, startling Hoseok and Changkyun. They turned towards the sound of her house slippers slapping on the hardwood.

“Here, Changkyunnie,” she said, placing a set of flannel pajamas and a towel in Changkyun’s hands. “Why don’t you go shower first?”

“Okay, thank you Auntie,” said Changkyun shyly. He toed his shoes off and hung his coat back up, then slinked off to the bathroom.

Mama Shin turned to Hoseok with her hands pressed to her smiling cheeks.

“Such a cute boy,” she said.

“He really is,” Hoseok agreed.

“Go unpack your things, Hoseok-ah,” said Mama Shin. “I’m going to go do the dishes now.”

“We already ran the dishwasher, Eomma,” said Hoseok. He kissed her on the cheek and patted her shoulder. “Go rest, you worked hard today.”

“Thank you,” said Mama Shin, beaming and patting Hoseok’s cheek. “I still have a few things to get done, though.”

She disappeared back into the kitchen, so Hoseok grabbed his overnight bag from where he’d left it in the living room and retreated to the guest bedroom. It was smaller than his mother’s master bedroom, but could comfortably fit a double-sized bed against the wall and several other pieces of furniture. There was a small writing desk in the corner, a neat little bedside table, and a bookshelf as well.

Hoseok smiled, examining the items carefully displayed in the bookshelf. It was full of mementos from his childhood: his old taekwondo trophies, awards his brother had received for public speaking, the books they read and loved growing up, more framed photos, yellowing with age…  

He sat down on the floor and ran his fingers across the spines of the books. Nostalgia flooded through him as he remembered the lazy afternoons he and Junseok had spent sprawled on his bed reading comics and novels in silence. Those days had been so long ago that he hardly remembered the contents of some of the books now.

The bedroom door opened, and Changkyun stepped in, infusing the room with the clean scent of soap.

“Your turn, hyung,” said Changkyun.

“Mm,” said Hoseok. He looked up.

Changkyun was standing by the bed, watching him curiously while drying his hair in a towel. Hoseok’s loaned pajamas were far too large on him. The hems of the pants pooled at his ankles, and the neckline dipped almost to his sternum, revealing the pretty moles that dotted his neck and chest. Hoseok flushed, realizing he was ogling.

Changkyun dropped the towel onto the chair by the writing desk and crouched next to Hoseok.

“We read the same books,” he said happily, trailing a reverent finger on the Korean translation of _Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_.

Hoseok laughed. “Hasn’t every kid read Harry Potter?”

“You’d be surprised,” said Changkyun. He gave a small, content smile. “This is the first ‘big book’ I read in English all the way through when I was little. I wanted to give up so many times.”

“But you didn’t,” Hoseok said matter-of-factly.

“I don’t fight battles I can’t win,” Changkyun replied.

Later, Hoseok would think back on this moment and understand the full weight of what Changkyun meant, but for now, he was mesmerized by the softness of his expression as he examined everything before him.

Changkyun’s eyes wandered over the bookshelf, lingering on the trophies and picture frames. It felt vulnerable for Hoseok to have the treasured relics of his childhood out in plain sight for Changkyun’s scrutiny, but he knew the younger wouldn’t judge. Instead, Changkyun’s eyes were filled with wonder, scanning along the rows as though trying to piece together a picture of Hoseok’s childhood with each item.

The tips of his cheeks suddenly turned pink. He turned to Hoseok and shoved him gently. “Go shower!”

“Okay, I’ll go now!”

—

Ten minutes later, as Hoseok was drying himself off, voices drifted into the bathroom from outside. He realized his mother and Changkyun were talking. Against his better judgement, he leaned close to the door crack and listened.

“Thank you, Changkyun-ah,” said Mama Shin. Her voice sounded fond. “I can rest easier knowing Hoseok has you and the others by his side.”

“No, I’m the one who’s thankful,” replied Changkyun.

There was a pause, as though he were deliberating on what he was about to say. When he continued, his voice was unexpectedly soft.

“Hoseokkie-hyung was there for me at a time no one else was… And he’s still there for me, every single day… If I’m honest I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay him for what he’s given me.”

That last statement — and the way Changkyun said it so tenderly and sincerely — hit Hoseok like a blow to the heart. Somehow, he knew the younger hadn’t said it for the sake of acting.

All he did for Changkyun — which wasn’t much, if he was honest — he did with the sole intention of making him happy. He’d never wanted reciprocity or repayment. Now, his conscience was tugged in opposite directions. Joy, that his efforts meant something to Changkyun; and guilt, that he’d unwittingly made the younger feel indebted to him.

Mama Shin’s voice broke though his thoughts.

“He won’t think of it that way. The boy I know would be happy just seeing you be yourself.”

Another pause, as though Changkyun was speechless, or had spoken too quietly for Hoseok to hear.

“You don’t believe me?” Mama Shin asked with a hint of humour.

“That’s not it!” Changkyun protested. “It just… seems a bit surreal, that’s all.”

Hoseok thought surreal was a very polite way of summing up the current situation.

“Too good to be true?” Mama Shin joked.

If only she knew, thought Hoseok sadly.

There was another lull. It occurred to him that he should quickly get dressed and come out, or they’d know he was eavesdropping. But suddenly—

“Now,” said Mama Shin brightly. “Where did you get the idea to do your nails like this? It’s so pretty.”

“Oh! Well,” replied Changkyun, sounding very pleased. “The story I told Monbebes is that I painted them because I don’t like seeing dirt under my nails.”

A giggle from Mama Shin. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here…”

Mischievously, Changkyun continued. “But I actually painted them so that everyone will know that it’s me poking my hyungs, even when only my hand’s in the picture.”

Hoseok suppressed a laugh. He’d suspected that was the real reason with the increase of the maknae’s hands sneaking into the members’ selfies.

Outside, Mama Shin burst into laughter, and Changkyun joined in. The sound of his mother and the man he loved laughing together filled him with indescribable joy, but it also tugged painfully at his heart. It was a beautiful dream, one from which he knew he must soon wake up.

He quickly threw on his sleeping clothes and emerged from the bathroom. His mother and Changkyun were seated at the dining table, hands wrapped around twin mugs of herbal tea. They smiled up at him.

“I’m going to go to bed now,” said Mama Shin, patting Changkyun’s hand. “You boys should sleep soon too. And dry your hair properly! There’s a hair dryer in the closet.”

“Alright, Eomma,” said Hoseok. “Sleep well.”

“Good night, Auntie.”

With that, Mama Shin’s bedroom door closed.

And then there were two.

“You’ll get headaches if you keep leaving your hair wet,” Hoseok scolded, eyeing Changkyun’s still-damp hair.

Changkyun frowned lightly as they retreated back to the guest bedroom.

“I’ve never gotten a headache from wet hair before,” he said petulantly.

“It may be spring but it’s still cold at night,” said Hoseok. He gently pushed Changkyun down to sit on the bed, then dug out the hair dryer and plugged it into the outlet by the bedside table.

“Turn around,” he directed.

Changkyun’s eyes widened. “I can dry my own hair, hyung!”

Hoseok merely gave him a stern look, and he quickly turned around, sitting cross-legged and presenting his head of damp hair to Hoseok.

Hoseok switched on the hair dryer and began to dry Changkyun’s hair. The hair dryer was too loud for them to make conversation, so he focused on ruffling Changkyun’s hair to help it dry faster. Surprisingly, it was soft and silky between his fingers despite the intense bleaching Changkyun and their stylist had subjected it to for the comeback. As he sifted through the nearly dried strands, he noted with amusement that Changkyun’s shoulders had relaxed, and the younger was starting to droop with sleep.

“Done,” he announced, giving Changkyun’s hair one last ruffle.

Hoseok made to blow-dry his own hair, but Changkyun shuffled around and held out his hand. Hoseok stared at him in confusion.

“It’s my turn,” Changkyun explained, clearly amused.

 _Oh_. He wanted to dry Hoseok’s hair for him too. _How adorable_.

Hoseok placed the hair dryer into Changkyun’s waiting hand and turned around. Just like he had, Changkyun dried his hair while carefully running his fingers through it. The last time someone had done this for Hoseok was at the hair salon, and they were nowhere near as gentle.

It was really nice to receive a simple act of care like this. Hoseok was well aware of how he came across as someone who loved being spoiled and taken care of — to an extent, it was true, and he often felt bad for soaking up attention that was better spent on the younger ones. Overhearing Changkyun’s confession to his mother — that he was unsure if he could ever repay Hoseok — made him feel twice as guilty. How could he take comfort in Changkyun’s sweet gesture if it was borne from a sense of obligation?

A sudden gust of cold air down the back of his T-shirt caused him to yelp and jerk away. Behind him, Changkyun burst into a fit of muffled giggles.

“Changkyunnie,” Hoseok whined, flexing his back muscles to try to get rid of the chill.

“Sorry, hyung, you were a million miles away,” said Changkyun, still smiling, albeit apologetically. “Your hair’s dry now.”

And so it was.

The hour was late, and there was only one thing left to do.

“Thank you. Let’s go sleep?” Hoseok said, aiming to sound casual.

“Oh,” said Changkyun, suddenly wide-eyed. “Okay.”

The double-sized bed that Mama Shin had promised would fit them comfortably suddenly looked miniscule.

“Um,” Hoseok said, not daring to look at Changkyun. “Which side do you want?”

“I’ll… take the side near the wall?” Changkyun said awkwardly. Had he picked up on Hoseok’s awkwardness and projected it back? It was like someone had splashed a bucket of cold water over the warm moment they’d just shared.

As Changkyun climbed into bed, Hoseok turned off the light, all the while cringing internally at himself. Luckily it had been a long day, the kind that sent him right to sleep the moment his head hit the pillow. After almost four years in the showbiz, he’d acquired the valuable ability to fall asleep anywhere, no matter how foreign.

However, as he got under the covers beside Changkyun and they said their _good night_ ’s, he realized he’d… actually never shared a bed with him before. They’d shared a cramped bedroom with a few of the others back before debut, a hotel room once or twice… But when situations that required sharing beds came up, they somehow always defaulted to other members.

As he’d expected, lying next to Changkyun was nothing like lying next to the others. Changkyun was broad-shouldered, but somehow took up less space than Hoseok would’ve thought. However, he made up for that by radiating body warmth like a little furnace. Try as Hoseok might, there was no pretending that the younger wasn’t sharing the same bed as him. There was just enough space that they wouldn’t touch, but any jostling brought their shoulders and arms into contact.

Hoseok sighed, and tried to move as little as possible. Maybe sleep would claim him soon.

His eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, and he could make out Changkyun’s form beside him. The younger was lying on his back, eyes still open and blinking at the ceiling. His chest rose and fell in slow intervals, as if he was doing breathing exercises.   

Come to think of it, Changkyun probably _was_ doing breathing exercises. Changkyun had made no secret of how hard it was for him to fall asleep, how much of a light sleeper he was…

Suddenly Hoseok was flooded with worry. What if he clung to Changkyun in his sleep? The other members had complained about his clinging before. And what if his childhood habit of sleep-talking reared its ugly head again after twenty years in remission? He hadn’t thought about sleep-talking in a really long time, but now that he had, he was definitely bound to sleep-talk during the night and out himself in spectacular fashion—

“You’re thinking too loud, hyung.”

Hoseok jerked in surprise.

“Sorry,” he whispered back.

Changkyun turned onto his side to face Hoseok. Hoseok rolled over to mirror him.

“What’s on your mind?” asked Changkyun.

 _I’m fake-dating the man I’d give the world to date for real and now we’re lying in the same bed together_.

Instead, Hoseok settled for: “Everything, I guess.”

“Are you worried your mom will find out?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok sighed. “And a ton of other things.”

That ton of other things weighed on him like — surprise, surprise — a ton.

Across from him, Changkyun was quiet and pensive. Hoseok waited, wondering what thoughts were flitting around in his head. His heart sank as the younger’s expression turned troubled.   

At last, Changkyun’s eyes met Hoseok’s again and he said, “We’ll deal with it when we get there. We’re in this together, hyung.”

They were in this together because Hoseok had dragged Changkyun into it. But Changkyun was right; what could he possibly achieve by worrying while lying there in bed?

“Thank you,” he said. His heart felt sore. It was a wonder that Changkyun even put up with Hoseok’s foolishness, let alone wanted to help him. And what could Hoseok give in return? Only gratitude, and his unrequited love.  

Changkyun smiled that humourless half-smile at Hoseok and nudged his feet with his own.

“Good night, hyung,” he said.

“Night, Kyunnie.”

Changkyun looked at Hoseok for a moment longer as though he was searching his face for something known only to him. Hoseok didn’t know if he found it though, for he quickly turned around again, facing his back to Hoseok.

One thing was for certain, and Hoseok knew it was no trick of the light.

As Changkyun turned around again, his relaxed expression slipped into something unbearably sad.

It sent Hoseok’s heart into a panic that wouldn’t subside for a long time.   

—

The anxiety triggered by the look on Changkyun’s face spiralled into a host of other thoughts that were so loud that Hoseok was kept awake for what felt like hours.

Finally, worried that he’d start tossing and turning and wake Changkyun up, he quietly slipped out of bed and snuck out of the guest bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind him so the light from outside wouldn’t bother the younger. He stopped by the kitchen to pour himself some water, then made his way to the living room to look out the window.

Hoseok’s mother’s apartment wasn’t much, but it was the best he could afford at the moment. To make up for it, he had scoured high and low for the perfect place where she could live comfortably. He was quite proud of the results — the apartment was nicely situated in its neighbourhood, and had a decent view of the city from the huge windows Hoseok was currently standing before.

It was well after midnight but below him, tiny pinpoints of light still scuttled about on the city floor and flickered on and off in apartment buildings, each one representing a person with goals and dreams and worries and heartbreak just like Hoseok. It was a humbling thought that made him feel simultaneously less and more alone.

Tomorrow, in the harsh light of reality, he and Changkyun would have to wake up and play pretend again. Then after that, they’d have to discuss the logistics of a reasonable, amicable pretend-breakup. If Hoseok was careful and thought his future actions through, he’d be able to untangle the mess he’d made without hurting anyone else. His mother might be sad for his and Changkyun’s split, but he believed she would be comforted thinking romantic relationships were still a possibility for him. Undoubtedly, Changkyun would be glad to not have to pretend to be with Hoseok. They were good friends, even closer now that they’d started working out together, but even the closest friends needed space from each other.

As for Hoseok himself — well, it was already a given that his heart suffer the collateral damage, now that he’d gotten a taste of what could be.

His mother and Changkyun, laughing together over cups of tea, waiting for Hoseok to join them… perhaps in another lifetime.

He sighed, and cursed himself for his lack of foresight.

Outside, the rain had stopped. Tiny rivulets ran down the pane of glass, magnifying the tiny, distant city lights within them like a jewelled kaleidoscope. It was a peaceful world outside the apartment.

The rain had stopped, but the storm battered on inside him.

“It’s cold.” Changkyun’s deep voice cut through his thoughts.

“It is,” replied Hoseok, still watching the lights below.

Changkyun joined him by the window. He was wearing the zip-up hoodie that Hoseok had worn earlier that day. “How come you’re up?”

“I can’t sleep,” said Hoseok. Normally he’d leave it at that, but tonight the words kept tumbling out. “I tried to do the right thing but I can’t shake off the feeling that I just made things worse. Maybe I’m overthinking but…” He paused to search for the right words. “I feel like I’m slow-dancing with my bad decisions while the room is burning all around me.”

Changkyun said nothing, but instead leaned his head onto Hoseok’s shoulder, offering him the simple comfort of his touch. They fell into a long silence, watching the lights below them, then suddenly—  

“I’ve never slow-danced with anyone before,” Changkyun remarked out of nowhere, looking out the window. “I’ve always wanted to.”

Surprised, Hoseok turned at looked at the younger properly. The rainclouds had finally parted, bathing the living room in the silvery light of the full moon. It danced on Changkyun’s handsome face, and in that moment he looked like the hero of a Greek tragedy.

He looked so lonely.

How could Hoseok not give Changkyun the world if he said such lonely things in the moonlight?

“We’ve danced together before,” said Hoseok. He wasn’t quite sure why he was bringing it up. “On the Jealousy comeback live, and on Monsta X-Ray.”

Changkyun turned to face him. Smiling wryly — sadly? — he said, “That doesn’t really count, does it?”

The situation he’d placed them in must have reminded Changkyun of his own loneliness. Again, Hoseok was really incapable of thinking of anyone but himself, wasn’t he?

But if there was one saving grace in this whole mess, it was that they were in this together. And so Hoseok said, “Then let’s dance together right now.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened in surprise, rendering his expression soft and innocent.

“There’s no music though,” he protested naively.

“Does it matter?” Hoseok asked.

He might not be who Changkyun wanted, but he hated that lonely expression on his beloved’s face. Tonight he’d unravel himself, heartstring by heartstring, if it meant he could ease Changkyun’s loneliness just a little bit. He could worry about the tatters tomorrow morning.

He could see the gears turning in Changkyun’s head, so he extended his hand to the younger.

Slowly, Changkyun placed his hand into Hoseok’s, interlacing his soft fingers between Hoseok’s calloused ones. Hoseok guided Changkyun’s other hand to his shoulder, and placed his own on Changkyun’s waist.

He began humming an old song from his childhood. To his surprise, Changkyun rested his cheek on Hoseok’s shoulder and began singing the English lyrics along with him, mumbling when he couldn’t remember the words. Together, they swayed on the spot.

 _“Put your head on my shoulder_   
_Hold me in your arms, baby_   
_Squeeze me oh so tight_ _  
Show me that you love me too.”_

Changkyun was right. The two times they’d danced in front of the camera together didn’t count at all. Hoseok remembered how he’d been careful to not hold Changkyun too close, and how Changkyun had clutched at Hoseok’s shirt rather than laying his palm flat on his back.

 _“Put your lips next to mine, dear_   
_Won’t you kiss me once, baby_   
_Just a kiss goodnight, maybe_ _  
You and I will fall in love.”_

But here in the soft blanket of darkness, nothing felt more natural than drawing Changkyun flush against him and feeling his deep voice vibrate through his chest. For the first time, and probably the last time, he could savour the feeling of holding him in his arms, so warm, so soft, like a dream made flesh.

If Hoseok closed his eyes to reality, he could almost pretend they were two ordinary men dancing in his mother’s living room under the moonlight simply because they loved each other so.

 _“People say that love’s a game_   
_A game you just can’t win_   
_If there’s a way_  
 _I’ll find it someday_  
 _And then this fool will rush in…”_

Changkyun trailed off, and they stopped turning. For a moment, they stood still like that, listening to each other’s breathing.

“But it still doesn’t count,” Changkyun whispered. His voice was barely audible, as though he was speaking to himself.

“I know.” Hoseok wrapped his arms around Changkyun properly, pulling the younger into a hug. He’d failed to make Changkyun feel better. “I’m so sorry.”

“I wish it was real for you,” Changkyun continued, curling his fingers into Hoseok’s shirt. His voice was even smaller now. “The way it was real for me.”

Hoseok froze. It sounded like…  

“What are you saying?” he breathed.

Changkyun stepped away from him and wrapped his arms around himself, as though trying to replace Hoseok’s warmth with his own.

“I’m sorry, hyung…” he said, looking at the floor. “Everything that happened tonight was my fault. Your mom probably noticed how I feel about you and mistook that for us being in a relationship.”

Hoseok’s heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings now. It felt like the outcome of the rest of his life hinged on what Changkyun was about to say.

“I know this will be unfair of me but I really can’t hold it in anymore,” Changkyun continued. He looked earnestly at Hoseok. “I need to say it… I love you.”

The air was knocked from Hoseok’s lungs. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” Changkyun insisted. His voice sounded tense.  

“I don’t believe you.” _I want to believe you so badly_. A knot formed in Hoseok’s throat, and something ice-cold welled up inside him, cutting his breath short. “You’re taking this too far. Don’t play with me like this—”

“ _Listen to me_.”

Hoseok stilled. Changkyun was staring back at him, gaze burning into him, fists clenched and chest heaving with deep breaths. Only when Changkyun turned away to break their gaze did Hoseok see the tear tracks on his cheeks, illuminated by the moonlight.

Changkyun was sincere.

The tears glittering in his eyes were sincere. The emotion choking his voice was sincere.

He sincerely loved Hoseok too.

Hope bubbled in Hoseok’s chest, replacing the despair that threatened to drown him just moments earlier.

“I’m not telling you because I hope or want you to like me back,” said Changkyun. Tears continued streaming down his face. “I just — I needed to say it so I can finally start letting go. I already know you’ll never see me as anything more than a friend so…”

But that was untrue. Changkyun was so much more to him. How could he talk of letting go when Hoseok finally had something to fight for?

Changkyun swiped at his tears, then looked back at Hoseok, smiling that terribly lonely half-smile that broke Hoseok’s heart. He took a deep, shuddering breath and said steadily, “So please keep thinking of me like that — like your friend — and I promise I’ll bury it away and never bother you with it again.”

With that, he turned and took a step away. Away from Hoseok who loved him and desperately needed him to know he loved him.

“Where are you going?” he asked, grasping Changkyun’s hand.

Changkyun stopped, but didn’t turn to look at Hoseok.

“I’m going to go back to the dorms,” he said resignedly. “Please say sorry to your mom for me. Tell her… Tell her I had to pick Jooheon up from the club or something.”

“Don’t go,” said Hoseok tenderly, lacing their fingers together.

“Hyung, you don’t need me here but I need to be alone right now—”

“I love you too.”

Changkyun whipped his head around and stared at him in shock.

“I love you too, you fool,” Hoseok said again. He laughed in disbelief. “We’ve been here loving each other the whole time.”

“Hyung,” Changkyun whimpered.

Hoseok drew Changkyun close, ignoring the tears stinging his eyes to thumb away the wet tracks on Changkyun’s cheeks.

“I love you, Changkyun,” said Hoseok, pressing his brow against the other’s. “I loved you every day before, and I’ll love you every day from now on, so don’t think about letting go anymore.”

Changkyun nodded numbly, as though reality still hadn’t hit him yet.

“You… love me,” he said slowly, like he was testing the words out in his mouth. He looked Hoseok in the eye with wonder written all over his face. “You love me.”

Hoseok nodded.

“I do,” he said affectionately. “So much.”

Changkyun flung his arms around Hoseok’s neck in a tight hug. Laughing weakly and burrowing his face in Hoseok’s neck, he whispered, “Am I dreaming?”

Hoseok picked Changkyun up by the waist and spun him around in joy. “Does this mean I’m the man of your dreams?”

“You have no idea,” Changkyun replied, voice thick with emotion.

Hoseok carefully set Changkyun down. He took another long look at Changkyun’s face, beautiful and radiant with love, and sighed happily. It was so hard to believe the unthinkable sequence of events that lead them here — years of silent pining, only to be disrupted by Hoseok’s mother’s unwitting meddling.

“I think I have some idea,” he said, cupping Changkyun’s cheek with one hand. They were so close now, so tantalizingly close that he could feel the younger’s chest rise and fall with each breath against his own chest.

Changkyun looked back at Hoseok like he was gazing on the entire universe. Hoseok didn’t know what he’d done to deserve being gazed upon with such adoration, but if it came from the man he loved, he’d take it and cherish it forever.

Changkyun’s eyes dropped down to his lips, and a not a second later they were kissing passionately, arms around each other, holding each other tight as though they might vanish from each other’s embrace if they let go. From Changkyun’s lips, Hoseok learned everything that hadn’t been said yet — how much Changkyun loved Hoseok, how he treasured him, how long he’d waited, the profound joy he felt that Hoseok loved him too.

The intensity of the moment filled Hoseok’s heart, until it felt like it would burst at the seams.

They broke away for air, and Changkyun gently dried the tears that had escaped Hoseok’s eyes.

“How can I face your mom tomorrow if I made you cry?” he murmured.

Hoseok laughed weakly. “We can deal with that in the morning together.”

“Together,” Changkyun repeated, beaming. “But for now we should sleep.”

If Hoseok could have his way, they’d stay up all night and catch up on the time together they’d missed, but he and his mom had a trail to hike in the morning. Maybe Changkyun might want to join them…

“You’re right,” he agreed, lacing his fingers through Changkyun’s. “Let’s go, loverboy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading! A few notes:
> 
> Tbh I’m still unsure what would be the most accurate way to address Hoseok’s mother in this fic. Native Korean speakers, please contact me on Twitter if there’s anything I can fix to make this better. My DMs are open! 
> 
> Thank you to [averyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13130928/chapters/30037959) for sending me the prompts from [hairlikehisblush](http://hairlikehisblush.tumblr.com/post/121186181755/bed-sharing-aus-bc-who-doesnt-like-their-otp) and [perfectlyrose](http://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/167886167222/jaesama-jaesama-some-prompts-you-can-take-if) <3
> 
> Mood songs for this fic were Secret Heart, Put Your Head On My Shoulder, Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby, All This And Heaven Too. Listen to them all [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ghEIa9MrQg&list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qn9Uy0Dfp7XIy5jEhyGutz&index=1)!
> 
> I’m bluem00nrabbit on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) and [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit). Come say hi!


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